Spouse / Partner Loss

Group Support for Spouse/Partner Loss

Losing a spouse or life partner is complicated by financial challenges, social challenges, and loss of identity. We offer peer-to-peer support groups that can offer respite to those who have no other support in the community. Please click here for more information.

Our Ten Grief Tips for Adults

Help if you are grieving:

Help for a friend or loved one:
  1. Recognize that grieving happens on its own timeframe.
  2. Find safe places and safe ways to express your feelings.
  3. Give yourself permission to do less.
  4. You don’t need to do this alone.
  5. Honor your loved one in whatever ways feel natural to you.
  6. Don’t immerse yourself in taking care of everybody else.
  7. Learn about grief, especially common themes for your particular kind of loss.
  8. Remember that your body is grieving too.
  9. Allow yourself to enjoy something, even laughter, whenever those moments come.
  10. When you’re ready, start discovering who you are in this new stage of life without the physical presence of your loved one.
  1. Be there.
  2. Listen and … keep listening.
  3. Offer practical, immediate help, especially in the first weeks after the death.
  4. Talk about the loved one who died, and don’t be afraid to use his or her name.
  5. Ask questions from the heart, not the head.
  6. Acknowledge significant days.
  7. Keep the invitations coming.
  8. Be ready for ups and downs.
  9. Accept even the shocking feelings.
  10. Be a friend, not an expert.

© WinterSpring 2012

For a downloadable pdf, Click Here

 

Grieving the Loss of a Spouse or Partner

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Financial Tips for the Recently Widowed

This financial guide from an organization called “CPA Site Solutions” lays out a clear plan and offers some practical tips for someone who has just lost their spouse. Click here to access this great resource.

So you’ve just become a single parent…what now?

This past week, I participated on a panel at the local high school’s Parent Academy – the topic was single parenting. Many parents unexpectedly find themselves alone, either through divorce or death of the other parent. It’s a shock, really. It was for me. When my former husband passed away unexpectedly leaving me to raise our daughter by myself, I felt closed in and afraid. It felt too big, more responsibility than I ever wanted. Her grief, my own, our changed lives…how would we get through it?

We did get through it, day at a time…which brings me back to what I learned at the Parent Academy. Here’s some things I gleaned from the panel and audience participants:

Common challenges for single parents:
• Lack of Sleep
• Loneliness
• Grief
• Emotional stress
• Time management
• A lack of sanity
• Challenges with kids’ attitudes and accountability

Ways to take care of yourself:
• Exercise – one woman started running every day and lost 40 pounds
• Drinking water—keeping yourself hydrated helps to fend off depression feelings
• Find friends you can talk to about your challenges with kids and getting time for yourself
• Take time for yourself in nature—one woman walks under the moon and stars at night
• Dance to wild music when the kids aren’t around
• Start a gratitude journal for yourself…or share it with your kids so that you all practice gratitude

Ways to connect better with your kids:
• Set aside special time for your kids—they want time with you, even if they are teens
• Appreciate them for the things they do well
• Set reachable goals—make a chart with tasks that you expect and make a reward for getting a certain number done
• Work with your child on the things you expect and let them come up with some ideas
• Find grief support groups for them in your local community
• Realize that underneath bad behaviors is deep loss—help your kids learn to grieve in healthy ways

If you are a single parent, please share what works for you!